


patration;

by nikiforovs (xronan)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, also lowercase aesthetic is the hill i will die on, but there's a happy ending i swear, i guess, i mean there's no discussion of match outcomes but this is set on the day of their graduation, i'm a mediocre writer at best but i hope y'all like this, mentions of other karasuno ships, slight manga spoilers?, slightly angsty?, uhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:46:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24021538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xronan/pseuds/nikiforovs
Summary: patration; perfection or completion of something"it's their graduation and daichi is but a poor man who has been harbouring feelings for sugawara for years. what will happen to them on their last day as highschool students?"- the plot summarized by moon of my life
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	patration;

**Author's Note:**

> written for a prompt request over on tumblr!!!. not beta-read; i'm utterly shite at proofreading, but i hope there aren't many mistakes? if you find any, let me know!!
> 
> if you like this, send me prompts to keep me distracted during quarantine? you can send in requests on either my [lit blog](https://xronan.tumblr.com/post/614027987420069888/hello-im-bored-out-of-my-mind-and-very-very) or [anime blog](https://sanemiiis.tumblr.com/post/617283908462051328/xronan-hello-im-bored-out-of-my-mind-and-very)!!!
> 
> have a nice day!
> 
> (p.s. i listened to winter bear, 4 o'clock, & scenery while writing this,,, sooo if you want the full effect, give them a listen?)

_ “why are you crying, _

_ when it’s just you and me _

_ me and you, _

_ oh you” _

their graduation is loud and emotional.

everyone waits till the ceremony is done and walks to the gym together as the first and second years are hosting a tiny party for them. daichi doesn’t know how they got permission to use the gym, but he appreciates the gesture more than he’ll ever let on. it’s a small thing -- just the volleyball club, but it’s loud and there’s crying and shouting and everyone's holding onto each other like they don’t want to face reality. it’s nice to know that this is the team that took karasuno to nationals; it’s nice to know that they did it together and watched each other grow stronger as each day passed. there’s a warm feeling in his chest -- it’s pride. he’s proud of them and daichi tries his best to not add to the tears threatening to flood their gymnasium. 

he looks around the gym and it doesn't feel like three years have passed. he remembers stepping into the gym for the first time and being excited to play volleyball at  _ the  _ karasuno. he remembers vowing to go to nationals. he remembers meeting asahi and suga and how much he loves them. asahi is currently sitting with a fond smile on his face as he listens to a teary-eyed noya who’s telling him how much he loves him and how much he knew asahi would achieve his dreams and how asahi absolutely has to text him when he’s in tokyo. suga, _ suga _ , is still being the dutiful senpai and answering kageyama’s and yamaguchi’s many questions, and he smiles at daichi when he catches daichi looking at him. daichi knows that there are tears waiting to spill out of his eyes because suga has given so much despite feeling like he’s not worth it and daichi knows that he doesn’t want this to end, so he walks over and places a hand on suga’s shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. kageyama and yamaguchi scoot to give him space, but daichi shakes his head no and chooses to stand. he absentmindedly traces circles on suga’s back before running his fingers through suga’s hair and daichi is too caught up in it to notice that suga’s stopped speaking and that kageyama and yamaguchi both have a slight blush on their face. when he does notice, he stops abruptly and stammers out an apology to the flustered bunch before sticking his hands in his pockets. he can’t look at suga’s face because he doesn’t want to see suga being uncomfortable and he doesn’t want their friendship to end along with their high school life. 

thankfully, he sees that coach ukai and takeda-sensei are preparing to close up the gym. they walk over to say their goodbyes and daichi can see the red in takeda-sensei’s eyes, and the protective hold coach ukai has on his waist as he asks everyone to gather. it’s emotional -- the way everyone huddles together for one last time and daichi is trying not to cry. he can see that tsukkishima’s eyes are a bit watery and the way he has his fingers laced together with yamaguchi, who is also battling tears and failing. he can see that kageyama is holding hinata by the waist to make sure the orange-haired boy doesn’t keel over from how sleepy he looks. and the way noya is clinging to asahi and the way ennoshita has his hands linked with tanaka and how yachi is crying as shimizu wipes her tears and how kinoshita and narita look determined despite how they are not even trying to hide the fact that they’re crying. daichi can’t help but feel proud of this unruly bunch and he finally lets himself give in and cry when he feels suga’s presence next to him as a silent reassurance. he doesn’t know how long they stand all stand there -- crying and babbling -- till they decide to say goodbye to the gym. the team shuffles out one after the other and daichi looks around again, taking in the sights as asahi and suga wait for him outside. it’s surreal -- that once they step outside tonight they’re no longer third years. that they’re no longer the captain, the vice-captain, and the ace of karasuno high school volleyball club. that it’s over and they’re just daichi, suga, and asahi. he lets out a chuckle as he turns off the light and closes up. 

it really  _ is  _ over.

asahi says a quick goodbye and hugs him as daichi walks over to them. it’s hurried and daichi realizes that it’s because nishinoya is waiting for him by the gate and he feels happy for asahi. they’ve been skirting around the topic since the end of second year and he’s glad that they’re finally together. except for the fact that now it’s just daichi and suga and he hates to admit how asahi being with them made things hurt a little less; that he could tell himself that it’s because that asahi was there that daichi didn’t bite the bullet and linked his hands with suga’s; or it’s because that asahi was there that daichi never kissed suga like he wanted to ever since he met him. he could keep telling himself it’s because of asahi and not because suga doesn’t like him back. he could, but he can’t anymore and everything is over and daichi would rather not fuck this up. it might be showing on his face so he smiles at suga when he looks at daichi’s expression with confusion. 

they walk in companionable silence after asahi leaves. suga occasionally says or asks something to break the awkward air around them, and daichi bites out one word replies so that his voice won’t betray him. it’s weird and this is not how he pictured their last walk to go, but it is going that way and daichi is treading very carefully so as to not mess up. but suga stops in his steps, and daichi looks at him. his eyes are red and he can see that his lips are trembling. 

_ “daichi _ ,”he says in the single most painful voice, “ _ did i do something?” _

daichi doesn’t know what to say, so instead he shakes his head  _ no _ .

_ “then why?,” _ suga asks. “ _ you haven’t said a word to me today. we haven’t spoken at all. there were so many things i wanted to tell you. i wanted to _ …” he trails off, and daichi mentally curses himself. he’s about to say fuck it when suga asks in the tiniest voice, “ _ do you not want to be friends anymore?” _

and daichi’s brain, in all its glory and hurry to salvage things and tell suga how he really feels, says  _ yes _ .

suga’s eyes widen in obvious hurt and daichi’s brain realizes that a  _ ‘yes’  _ in context of the question is  _ “yes, i don’t want to be your friend anymore or have anything to do with you”,  _ NOT _ , “yes, i don’t want us to be friends anymore, but boyfriends” _ . it scrambles to fix things, but halts to a stop as suga lets out a tiny and defeated “ _ oh _ ” and he looks at daichi and with a sad smile. 

“ _ i should head home, _ ” he says. “ _ it’s getting late. i guess i should say that i’ll see you tomorrow, but school is over and i don’t want to bother you during summer, _ ” suga is rambling and it hurts daichi’s heart to hear the way suga’s voice sounds. he doesn’t know how he does it, but he crosses the distance between them, and stands in front of suga.

“ _ i don’t know what i did but i’m sorry if i was ever too clingy or annoying. i know that i’m not the best company, and ... _ ” he’s still rambling when he registers daichi’s presence. “ _ oh, daichi _ ” suga says, a bit surprised and out of breath and there’s a faint pink dusting his cheek and there are tears welled up in his eyes that daichi will never forgive himself for, and his lips are a swollen and red from how much he’s been chewing on them, and daichi ducks his head and places a small kiss on them. 

there’s a moment when everything is quiet and the rest of the world doesn’t exist and it’s just the two of them under the summer sky and daichi’s heart is racing and all that his brain can manage to say is, “ _ HOLY SHIT WE’RE KISSING SUGA!! _ ” he pulls back then, suddenly aware of what he’s doing and slightly scared of the repercussions, but it dissipates the moment suga chases his lips and kisses him back, and his brain goes, “ _ HOLY SHIT SUGA’S KISSING US BACK! _ ”

daichi’s imagined how kissing suga would be like a thousand times, but it is nothing compared to the real thing. suga tastes of the mangoes that shimizu brought for the party and daichi smiles into the kiss. when they finally break apart, the faint pink that dusted suga’s cheek is red now and his lips are kiss-swollen. daichi wants to know what suga tastes like without the sickly sweetness of mangoes and what suga looks like just after he woke up. he wants to see suga when he’s not put together and comfy and he wants to see suga fall apart on his fingers. and for the first time in a long while, daichi feels like they’re possibilities and not just his fantasies.

_ i call you moonchild: _

_ we’re children of the moon _

_ breathing the cold air of the morning _

_ yes we’re livin’ and dyin’ _

_ at the same time, _

_ but we can open our eyes in this moment – _

_ for like in that movie, like in that script, _

_ within the moonlight, the entire world is blue. _

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you guys liked this!!! lemme know what you think!!!


End file.
